Sometimes the best way forward is to take a step back. It’s so easy to lose yourself when you confuse success with conformity. You’re probably wondering what I’m going on about, well let me explain. For the best part of the past year, maybe longer, I’ve felt a bit lost. Not in a depressive kind of way, just like I’d lost my oomph, my je ne sais quoi, my charisma and I started asking myself questions like who am I?
I think we all go through this in some form or other. Where you grow up but seem to grow apart from the things that bring you joy. I’m one of those weird people that can be the life and soul of a party one minute, then practically a recluse the next. I used to get more of the social fulfilment, through after work drinks and more random meet ups with friends, but as you get older lifestyles change. Now, if people aren’t thinking about families to get home to, their probably too exhausted from the rat race to entertain after work socials.
I know I’m pregnant for the next few months and life is certainly going to continue to change for a while, but it’s important for me to bring back some spontaneity.
If you knew me growing up, you’d probably agree that I maintained a certain outspoken nature. I used to say what I thought a lot more and whilst I’m glad that I am better at considering the feelings of others, this shouldn’t be at the expense of my own sanity. I once had a boss tell me that he valued my outspokenness, that I was not afraid to say what others beat around the bush on and I shouldn’t lose that. I feel like I need to get back to this, you’d be surprised how much less time is wasted if people actually say what they think.
I used to be fearless too! The first one to ask a question in a crowd or volunteer to try something new. At some point I started looking around and thinking, why is it always me? This is where the conformity comes in. Being concerned about what people think rather than just doing what comes naturally. I wonder how many opportunities I’ve missed trying to be just like everyone else.
That last point ties in to the fact that I also feel like I’ve somehow watered down my drive and ambition. A need to be successful has been a part of my DNA for a long time. Why is that something to be ashamed of?
What I will say is, when you allow society to define what that success looks like, you’re doomed to a life of misery. It’s easy to chase someone else’s dream, or the societal expectation- school, college, uni, grad scheme, full time job, rent home, struggle to get mortgage, chained to desk to pay said mortgage etc etc…. Or you can go out on a limb and take a chance that there’s something better out there.
In a world where there is so much value created by us being our authentic selves, it’s important to hone who you are. To embrace it and leverage off your best skills. This is something I’m aiming for going forward.
A need to be successful has been a part of my DNA for a long time. Why is that something to be ashamed of?
In this post:
Jumper – Zara
Skirt – M&S I have navy but comes in Black and Beige
Bag – Topshop sold out but similar available
This post is not sponsored. I am not in partnership with any of the brands. I simply like these outfit ideas and share them on my blog. Any links I’ve used are affiliated via Awin. I would love if you used these links if you are planning to purchase any of the items. That way I can potentially earn a small commission if you buy anything- leading to better content to you from me. 🙂 As always, if you like this post then subscribe to be notified of the next one. I’m also on all the socials below so take your pick:
